This is a tricky topic and can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. The best way to answer it is to state a few of my related thoughts to this:

• I don’t believe such a lifestyle deserves to be phrased as “doomed to it”.
• I think that a mother being home rather than going to work will be for the best (for the kids but for the family as a whole as well).
• I think the economy should be set up so that it allows women who want to stay at home with their children to actually be able to do it. This is sadly not the case, prices of living are set in such a way that expects from you that your household has 2 incomes (one from each parent).

So if you would ask me if it would be best for a woman to be at home, I’d say that in general, it is. However, unfortunately, I don’t think the economy would allow this, at least not for an average-income couple.

I do think this is sad. I also think this situation or economic policy, whatever you want to call it, isn’t a coincidence. I believe it’s all a part of a major divide-and-conquer scheme. If you need to divide your people so that you can easily rule over them, what better way to do it than to divide the family?

It’s hard for people to unite against the ruler if even the most basic form of community(family) lacks solidarity. How would you even build solidarity within a family if you barely see each other? If both of you work, you can hardly find quality time for each other, both of you are exhausted and have a ton of work to do once you come home from your job.

Jobs mostly teach you to divide your work within a team. That’s why each worker is specialized in doing one thing (for example accounting) while somebody else does something else (marketing). You don’t expect your accountant to come up with a marketing scheme, or someone from sales to cook lunch every day and clean toilets.

In a family, you are practically not allowed to have this kind of partition, even though it yields the most efficiency. It’s almost that you aren’t even allowed to mention the terms “gender roles” or “roles in the family”, as you will most likely be accused of patriarchy and/or degrading women.

Conclusion

What it boils down to is that you both need to work, you both need to take care of the kids, you both need to work outside the house, etc. I wish all those things weren’t a need but a want, because no wonder you don’t have time for yourselves as a couple, and no wonder a huge percentage of marriages end in divorce. God bless you all.